The Olympics and Central

If you are like most Americans, you have been tuning into the Olympic Games. You’ve been seeing the American quest for Gold and Silver and Bronze. You’ve been watching “the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat.” Me too. And as I’ve watched, I’ve come across a few questions and lesser known facts from the Beijing Olympic Games that in some cases pertain to Central Church in Lenexa. For instance:

1) Michael Phelps, the Gold Medal Machine, eats between 10 and 12,000 calories a day! A day?!? Wow! That is closing in on the caloric intake possibilities of all who will be at Central for our annual Labor Day Sunday Picnic on August 31!

2) With the news coming out of China that during the Olympic Opening Ceremonies some of the fireworks were fake and a little girl singer was deemed to not be cute enough to be seen worldwide (the so-called homely kid was replaced with a more cute, lip syncing replacement), I want to assure the good people of Central, that we have never used phony fireworks in any of our services and according to his wife, Julie, and his mother, Diane, our resident singer Pastor Kevin is more than cute enough.

3) How come the guy beach volleyball players are wearing shorts and t-shirts and the girl beach volleyball players are wearing not much more than dental floss? Is modesty only a male event? (Don’t ask the male synchronized divers that question—they have their own modesty issues.)

4) We have been kicking around the idea of having a Synchronized Baptism Event at Central, but have decided that since we have no underwater cameras, a small baptistery, and questions whether the baptismal robes would be a help or a hindrance for a Synchronized Baptism Event—we have decide to “tank” the idea (pun intended).

5) If “Central Super-Counter” Ruth Vail were in China—we would not only know the exact ages of those “aren’t even close to 16 year old” Chinese Gymnasts, but we would also know why those little 12 year olds weren’t in Sunday School last week.

6) Gossima, Whiff-Whaff, Flim-Flam and Ping-Pong are alternative names for the Olympic event known as “Table Tennis,” but in my basement that same game is referred to as “The game that no one can beat dad in.”

7) Speaking of “The game that nobody can beat dad in” (Ping Pong), should it even be an Olympic sport? And if ping pong makes the Olympic cut, why not have other basement games like pool, darts, air hockey, foosball and, of course, video games? If video games were an Olympic sport, I know some basement dwelling, Nintendo 360 playing Centralite teenagers who could quite possibly qualify for the 2012 London Games.

8) And while we are adding Olympic events, since Badminton is an Olympic event, why not have other back yard activities like croquet, lawn darts, and, better yet, outdoor grilling as Olympic Competition? I have tasted some of the barbequing of some Centralites and I would say it is “world class” and gold medal worthy. Yum! Who knows -- with a Hibachi, a little practice and just the right marinade maybe I could be an Olympic class Barbequer too!

9) I have other burning questions about some Olympic events that I wish Bob Costas or someone at the NBC studios would answer for me, such as:

a) Isn’t “Women’s Yngling” missing a vowel? Can’t we buy yngling a “U,” “O” or an “A” from Pat Sajak? In case you don’t know, yngling is a sailing event. There is also a sailing event in the Olympics called “49er.” I think a San Francisco football fan had something to do with that name.
b) Why do the synchronized swimmers wear a nose plug? The weird kid in my swimming class growing up wore a nose plug? Don’t you think those swimmers should know how to swim without a nose plug? You don’t see Michael Phelps wearing a nose plug.
c) Apparently “Men’s Trap” has nothing to do with a gold digging woman looking for a “Sugar Daddy.” Men’s trap is a shooting event. Strange but true.
d) And “Women’s Sculls” has nothing to do with anatomy or pirates or poison. Sculls is a rowing event. Who knew?

I might not get answers to my Olympic questions in the sport pages of the newspaper, but there are some life answers in the sport pages of the Bible (You didn’t know that there is a Sports Section in the Bible? There is. Check this out:) Paul writes: Don't you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run with purpose in every step. (1 Corinthians 9:24-26 NLT)

How is your race coming along? Are you running to win an eternal prize? Paul says to “run with purpose in every step!” In other words, make each step of your life meaningful, thoughtful and faithful!