PALCON and Imperfect Umpires

I’ve been at PALCON this week. PALCON stands for Pastors and Leaders Conference, I think. I write “I think” because I’ve checked and rechecked the brochure and I didn’t come up with actual words for the acronym. So, with that being in mind, I decided to come up with a few alternative meanings for the PALCON acronym:

Please Admonish Lame Comments On Neanderthals (I like cavemen)

Permanently And Lovingly Consider Outlawing Neck-ties (I don’t like neck-ties)

Preaching A Lesser Christ Only Nauseates (It’s kind of theological, an occupational hazard of mine)

Maybe they should stick with Pastors and Leaders Conference.

I am really not much of a conference guy. I’ve said many times that the reason God called me to preach is that He knew I couldn’t sit through a church service. My mom used to say I have “ants in my pants” (not true by the way). But I am fidgety. I take candy. I try to listen. Still when the preacher mentions some scripture, my mind goes in a million directions on how I would preach the passage or what points I would bring out or what illustrations I would use.

To further complicate matters, last night a very fine preacher was scheduled to preach. Unfortunately, just before the service I checked the baseball scores on my phone. My beloved Detroit Tigers were playing the Cleveland Indians. When I checked the scores, the Tigers were winning 1-0 and Armando Galarraga (the Tiger pitcher) had not given up a hit. Wow! He was pitching a no-hitter.

So every few minutes when I knew the Indians were batting I would go back to my phone and check the score. Sing a verse—check the score. Pray a prayer—check the score. Galarraga continued to pitch great. In fact, he was pitching a perfect game—which means every batter he faced made an out. It was that way, all the way through the ninth inning. I know I was supposed to be listening or singing or whatever it was we were doing at the conference—but I was so curious—would Armando pitch a perfect game? (It has never been done in Tiger’s history. In fact, in all of Major League Baseball’s history it has only been done 20 times!)

If you are a sports fan, then you know the story. With only one out to go (Galarraga had gotten all 26 batters he had faced to make outs), the final batter in what would have been his perfect game hit a grounder to the first baseman. The first baseman caught the ball and flipped it to Galarraga who was covering first base. All the replays show that the batter, Jason Donald, was out, but the umpire mistakenly called him safe. In so doing, it ruined Armando Galarraga’s perfect game. AAAARGH!!! (I almost shouted a mean comment or two about the umpire right then and there, which would have been quite awkward with the PALCON service in full swing).

Some people are calling it the biggest blunder by an umpire in baseball history. The ump would later admit he missed the call, felt horrible and apologized. Lesson learned: Umpires are human too.

So are preachers. So are you. We all make mistakes. We all say dumb things. We all do dumb things. There are times when we don’t do what we know we should do (like paying attention at PALCON last night). That’s the problem with living on this sin-stained planet. I look forward to experiencing Jesus’ prayer, “On earth as it is in heaven.” I look forward to a time when I won’t be putting my foot in my mouth, when I won’t forget appointments, when I will know how to appropriately respond to all situations. But until that day, like Paul, I want to say “I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back.” (Philippians 3:12-14 The Message) In other words, I might not be perfect, but I want to keep moving forward in becoming more and more the person God desires me to be.



Well, I am “off and running” back to PALCON. I sure hope the Tigers don’t have another game like last night or I won’t learn a thing.