A Slow News Week

Since nothing all that exciting or amazing or weird or funny or bizarre has happened to me this week I am stumped as to what I should share with the good people of Central.

It’s too early to write about Thanksgiving and too late to write about Halloween. I refuse to write about the presidential debates and nothing spectacular has happened in the world that requires comment from a preacher in Kansas.

At the Prince Palace, life is pretty normal. Alex was home sick today… but I don’t think anyone would want me to share that story. I could see the headline: PK PuKes (It would not be a good article for those with weak stomachs.) Ben is practicing his guitar as I write this article, but you don’t want me to share about that either. Headline for that one: BEN DETERMINED TO BECOME THE NEXT JIMI HENDRIX OR DEAFEN HIS DAD TRYING. Karla is at Hobby Lobby determined to spend nearly all of our disposal income on either dried flowers, scrapbooking supplies, “necessary” home decorations and/or all of the above. Headline would read: RECEIPT FROM HOBBY LOBBY MAKES PASTOR ROBBY WHOBBLY .

I am not sure that I could get a spiritual lesson from any of those events.

I could write about some of the news of the day. Foxnews.com has an article suggesting that life on earth came from Mars. Umm… ok. First we came from monkeys, now from Martians. I’ll stick to the story that God created me, if that’s OK with y’all. There’s another article about a man from India who married a dog. I have officiated at dozens of weddings, and while some of the brides were less than beauty queens, none required a flee collar. Foxnews.com is just plain goofy. It must be a slow news day.

The sports pages remind me that the Ohio State vs. Michigan football game is this week. That is usually good for an article or two. I could tell some of my standard Buckeye jokes (How do you get an OSU Summa Cum Laude off your front porch? Pay him for the pizza!) But this year is different. Who would have ever thought that the KU-Missouri game would be a bigger deal than Buckeyes vs. Wolverines? I am crying maize and blue tears just thinking about it, I’m sorry I can not write about it. It’s too painful.

I could write about some secret inner office happening at the church. But other than the obnoxious bragging going on because of MNU (beating a sister college from Illinois over the weekend), KU (9-0, I still don’t believe it), and the proper use of language during the announcements, there’s not much to write about.

Last week, we did have an invasion of gnats at the church. Rumor has it that a banana was hidden in Pastor Cory’s office, but now the gnats are gone. How about this headline: GNASTY GNATS GNO-LONGER GNAVIGATING GNAZARENE GNAVE! Unless you are talking plague of locusts, it’s hard to get a Biblical point using bugs, so I guess I can’t write about our gnats either.

So without any epiphanies concerning this little article, I will simply write that I am glad to be your pastor. Central is a great church with many wonderfully, committed believers who really get it that we are to be a light in the world. Thanks again for the pastor appreciation cards, comments and check from the church. Have a terrific week, and I’ll see you on Sunday!