Thursday, March 11, 2010

22 Happy Years

Twenty two years ago tomorrow, Karla and I were married at the Westland Church of the Nazarene in Westland, Michigan. It was a rainy spring morning on March 12, 1988, but when we came out of the church newly hitched, the afternoon sun was out and a rainbow was in the sky (we took that as a sign that there would be no floods in our marriage. If you count water in the basement as a “flood” then we’ve had a few, but if by flood you mean gathering animals and building a big boat—that hasn’t happened….yet).

Since that Saturday in March of 1988, Karla and I have had two boys, five dogs, two hermit crabs and a few dozen fish. We have lived in six homes in three different states and have owned ten cars, one snowmobile, a riding lawn mower and several bikes. We have endured two C-sections, a gall bladder surgery (Karla), a tonsillectomy (Ben), broken collar bone (Alex) and a subarachnoid hemorrhage (Rob).
There have been great days and lousy ones. I guess you could say there were days that could be characterized as some better, some worse; some richer, some poorer; some with sickness and some with health.

Because of my profession, Karla has had to put up with having family stories told (and written) to an entire congregation; a husband that has been known to keep crazy hours and has had to rearrange family schedules because of crisis, funerals and other pastorally things; and has lived life under the microscope known as “pastor’s wife.” She has sacrificed career, proximity to her family, and never sitting in a worship service with her spouse (truth be told, because of my singing skills, I think she is OK with that aspect of being a pastor’s wife).

And all I got out of the deal was a wife who is handier than Bob Villa, prettier than a Zooma, the beauty queen, and wittier than Ethel Merman (although that’s not saying much because I was never an Ethel Merman fan. “Who’s Ethel Merman,” you say. “Exactly!” is my response. ). In other words, I married up. Way up.
We haven’t the marriage longevity of some but we have lasted more than others. We are not the perfect couple and our marriage has not been perfect— but I cannot imagine being married to anyone else and in my totally biased eyes, Karla is the perfect woman for me.

On our wedding day, my friend Mark Parker (now the HR Director at the Nazarene Publishing House) sang the old hymn, Savior, Like a Shepherd Lead Us. If you haven’t sung it in a while, the words go like this:
Savior, like a shepherd lead us; much we need thy tender care.
In thy pleasant pastures feed us; For our use Thy folds prepare.
Blessed Jesus, Blessed Jesus! Thou hast bought us; Thine we are.
Blessed Jesus, Blessed Jesus! Thou hast bought us; Thine we are.

Well, it’s been 22 years since I saw my bride walking down the aisle and hearing that song sung. And like Samuel as he raised the rock that he called Ebenezer (1 Samuel 7)—I can say, “Hitherto God has helped us.” God has been faithful. He has led us. He has fed us. He has cared for us. We were His on our wedding day, and we still are His all these years later. I cannot tell you how thankful I am for these past 22 years.

It is my prayer that all of our marriages can be like the one I have experienced. Where God has led, God has blessed and God has been honored. I hope that all of our marriages recognize that whether times are better or worse, God will “still like a Shepherd lead us” if we allow him to lead.

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